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This thing is like a time capsule. [Jan. 31st, 2011|05:27 am]
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[Current Mood |BD]

Oh man this old ass thing I never update IT HAS BEEN TWO YEARS.

So update. I'm about to graduate. In my last semester right now. That relationship I probably wrote about during it's beginning ended nearly a year ago. I am quite happy with my life BD. I'm drawing chilluns buuk illustrations for money now. So basically I'm doing illustration for a living. I have my gripes with the publishing company that hires me, but then I'm like WHAT IF I WORKED AT KROGER AGAIN.

also my attitude towards
SPIDERS <3 <3 <3
has completely flip flopped. I don't really get that freaked out anymore. In fact I think they're kinda cute. That freaked out feeling has turned into a little wierd OH sort of tinglyness and then I'm like "oh they're like tiny little eight legged cats, with eight eyes, and not as cute, but still cute in a sort of spider way" In fact a few weeks ago a spider started crawling up the wall behind my mattress. And instead of not being able to sleep there like I would have in the past, I put the spider in a cup and moved it to the closet where it won't be disturbed. It's winter, so I couldn't put the spider outside. UH SO ENOUGH ABOUT SPIDERS NOW.

I'm totally into fist of the north star right now. And I'm working on some short comics for www.spera-comic.com. I fucking love inking with brushes.

I do some martial arts again now. A few years ago I did anyway, but it's different now. Yeah. Different.

I'm hella tired, it's almost 5:30 am, I've been up the entire time, and going to bed RIGHT NAO SO NO MO INFO FO YO BD
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um [May. 11th, 2009|01:19 am]
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[Current Mood |sleepysleepy]

SO it's been almost 2 years since I last posted here, um


On Friday I got an Illustration Award and Scholarship from my teacher *w* IT WAS MAGICAL
and it's like super motivation to do illustration even more now

Also my comic/digital rendering teacher is nagging me to finish a dinosaur comic I started last summer, it will probably be done by the end of next school year.

After totally losing interest (actually I just gave up on watching it after leaving the dorm with cable) I watched the rest of Avatar, which I"m sure everyone saw a long time ago. I started really getting into it yesterday watching the 3rd season and then when it was over I had this empty feeling like "now what, it's just over?" and I have this feeling like I want more, but I know that if they did more it would just be like bla bla bla doing another season for fans, gonna kinda suck because it's not really necessary. But still, it's like there's this Avatar void with no Avatar left to fill it.

Um, I did some sketch meme thing for people, and went along and didn't do it, so now I've drawn like 3, so 3 more to go, sorry to keep you waiting for so long. I feel kinda bad.

Time for bed
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(no subject) [Sep. 25th, 2007|08:22 am]
I just et the most delish oatmeal goo I have ever et

Last Thursday Craig came to school with me since he didn't have classes. We were tired as hell and said a lot of delirious things that I don't remember. I do remember a few though, like this:

Craig: look at all those people, watching us, they look mad (while we're holding hands on the sidewalk)
me: maybe they're just jealous
Craig: they're thinking "look at those gay people, god they're so gay...I hate them"
me: lol this is gay?
Craig: they're gonna say stuff like "why don't you go have heterosexual sex, FAGS!"
me: ltfo
so magical *w*

On Saturday I was over at my grandparents' house alone doing homework for painting (the only lesson I"ve learned so far is that oil paint is gross as hell, basically the only effects are smudging edges or smearing or OH look I can make little scratchy marks with my pallet knife coooooooool wait I mean gay) and ate a huge juicy piece of fruit and got juice all over the table. I couldn't find a sponge to clean it with, so I grabbed a towel next to the sink and just as I started running water under it, a ton of spiders started running out. First there were just some tiny ones, and I tried rinsing them off with water, then a huge one with long legs came running out really fast and I fucking freaked out for about 3 minutes, and for the rest of the day I was afraid to go near the sink. I went outside on the front porch, and things were just scaring me more, and I was nervous as hell. A bee flew past me and I freaked out again.

spiders :((((((

Oh yeah I think my drawing teacher is really awesome, basically cause we get to come up with our own ideas, while she keeps things challenging and it's the best. She showed us slides of some of her art, which is woah.
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(no subject) [Sep. 12th, 2007|11:23 am]
man I'm sorry I still haven't posted the drawings from that meme, it's been a month since I've drawn them. I haven't had much time to break away and scan them, and even when I did have time I was distracted or put it off. I've actually got some time after school today, so I'll force myself to do it then

so anyway I'm tired as hell, trying to work at Wild Oats and manage 15 credit hours at Herron is not working out too well. I've barely been able to get my homework done or get enough sleep, or take time out to be with Craig, though I've been putting off more work and sleep to do that.  When I requested fewer hours, Ken asked me if I can really do this job, since I had agreed the schedule he had set up for me would work. My answer is no, because I seriously underestimated how much homework I would be getting this year, it's about 2 or 3 times the amount I had last year.  So I probably won't be working there for much longer, which is a huge relief, because I was just starting to get sick and uagsdkghhg I don't even need this job anyway, I just took it because my mom was urging me. I can live without extra cash too, not like I have anything to spend it on all the time.

auaghghg trying to get back all the sleep I lost
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(no subject) [Aug. 16th, 2007|10:22 pm]
I've got most of the sketches done for the meme, I just have one more and then I just gotta scan them.

Orientation at Wild Oats tomorrow, 10 am, then Craig's coming over sometime depending on whether his luggage arrives in the mail (the suitcase with all his clothes got lost in Montreal), and he'll be here for the the weekend, since he's gotta start moving into dorms before school starts. I'm excited, cause Craigtimes are always good times.

Oh, funny story because I just remembered it:
When Tim was at drum major camp in Illinoise, they had an "obstacle course" which consisted of everyone eating a banana and chugging a bottle of 7up, then running up and down a hill several times. Lot's of vomit, lol.

Anyway, school starts up on Monday, and I'm excited because Becca and Chad (and maybe Lauren? not sure if she's actually going to Herron still) will be there, and we're all going out for lunch or din din afterwards. Plus I'm just ready for art classes, dammit!
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art meme [Aug. 13th, 2007|01:19 pm]
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from guosugar

First 10 people to comment get a sketch of a subject or character of their choosing, drawn by me. In return, (if you want) post this in your journal.

Uh, I haven't really been keeping up with a lot of fandoms lately, so if you want something from one, I'll want references.
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life update [Aug. 12th, 2007|06:16 pm]

maaaaaan oh man it's been a while

Today was my last day working at Petco, probably one of the best days out of my whole 3 1/2 months of working there. The whole 6 hours went by incredibly fast. I'm getting a new job at Wild Oats, in the grocery department. Basically I'll be facing the store and helping customers find stuff. It's kinda boring, but it's easy, and I'll be working between 15-20 hours a week, so it works out great with my school schedule. The only down side is that I'll be working every Saturday and Sunday evening, which will be the only days I can actually see Craig as soon as School starts next week. By the way I'm totally ready for art classes to start up again, excited the hell out actually!

Craig has been in Montreal Canada for speed skating camps since last Sunday, and doesn't get back until either Thursday or Friday. He says he's "yet again ended up being the oldest, about 9 or 10 years older than the other people there, who are usually 13-9 year old kids. I've been missing him something terrible :< that and I'm really hoping to see him before school starts, since then on it'll be unclear what with my new job and his speedskating season taking up saturdays. I considered forgetting about the job, but then again I've been wanting to work there for a while. Craig said he just wants me to go with the job and see how things go, but now says he'd feel bad if I did happen to quit just to see him. It's seriously important to me though, no matter how gay or whiney of me it may sound. I do need the money though, and I know eventually we'll get more time. ahghgh waiting waiting (it's totally worth it though)

Chelsea's been back from Korea for a week now, and yesterday we went to the State Fair with her parents. We spent the whole day there, and it was fucking hot and exhausting (we wanted to go home but her parents wanted to stay as long as possible) but we did go to the art galleries and saw some cool stuff. I reaaaally wanna get out some watercolors and paint now, and I've got a couple days off, so I just need to get up and do it rather than just tell myself I'll get around to it like usual.

Oh yeah, two weeks ago Craig and I were going to go to Indiana Dunes, but the day we planned to go had some shitty weather, so we ended up going to his house (real home, not temporary campus housing) in Illinois. His mom is pretty hilarious in some ways. She's got an insect collection (with some spiders :<) and most of the bugs she has are HUGE. We went to the zoo on Saturday, and on the way back on Sunday we went to a Kwik E Mart hoping to get Tim some Krusty-O's, but they didn't have any of those like they said they would, which was gay and a disappointment

I guess that's all I can think of for now, it's odd getting to do what I want more, since I was getting used to having most of my time sold away to Petco.
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yark barf art fart darf marf [Jul. 12th, 2007|10:07 pm]

let me tell you life is dandy

man i need to draw way more. it's been about a month without drawing and I was about to go crazzzzzeee

so I'm going to Washington Island in Wisconsin, leaving on saturday
Tomorrow night after work at 9 I'm going to see Harry Potter with Craig
and then we're just gonna stay up
the night before I leave for vacation
lol we ar so smrt

EDIT: what the hell my friends page is exactly the same as it was 3 days ago. Kinda like there was one post, and after that nobody ever posted anything again. I find it kinda hard to believe that there would be nothing recent, maybe lj is just frozen or gay or gay and frozen ughagh I'm so tired anyway why should this matter to me.


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um [Jul. 9th, 2007|10:49 pm]
this dude just messaged me out of the blue:

KEEN (10:36:05 PM): Hey there.
BEAR DISAPPROVAL (10:36:20 PM): hi
BEAR DISAPPROVAL (10:36:31 PM): who's this?
KEEN (10:37:51 PM): My name is Ryan Keenan. I saw your design for a tshirt and wanted to say hello.
BEAR DISAPPROVAL (10:37:59 PM): oh
BEAR DISAPPROVAL (10:38:07 PM): hi
BEAR DISAPPROVAL (10:38:19 PM): what shirt was it?
BEAR DISAPPROVAL (10:38:25 PM): just curious
KEEN (10:40:32 PM): the one you submitted to inkadoodle.com
KEEN (10:40:33 PM): i think
BEAR DISAPPROVAL (10:40:48 PM): oh, I don't ever remember that website
BEAR DISAPPROVAL (10:43:31 PM): what did the design look like, do you have a link?
BEAR DISAPPROVAL (10:43:41 PM): I'm just kinda confused now
KEEN (10:43:41 PM): im looking for it again
BEAR DISAPPROVAL (10:43:47 PM): ok
“KEEN” signed off at 10:43:54 PM.

ok WHAT?
I'm seriously confused right now.


ok makes a little more sense now, but still I never knew about this website until now and I'm still confused why this guy thinks I posted a design on it.
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update on life (hella long post) [Jul. 9th, 2007|10:35 am]
oh hi internet it's been a while

so anyway working at Petco has been driving me insane, and I guess I didn't realize how much I hated it until--what the fuck petco I mean what the hell JESUS FUCKING CHRIIIIIIST--just thinking about going to work there fills me with rage. so much that I know i'm quitting soon. I had a job interview at Wild Oats yesterday which went pretty well.  I just need to work somewhere closer to home, that isn't gonna give me fucking retarded hours which mean there's no actual time to spend with my boyfriend, and I know, boo hoo but seriously I'm gonna be gone next week, and the most I'm gonna get to see of Craig is after I get off of work at 9 on friday. It's not that I don't want to work the amount of hours they gave me, i just would have prefered something in the morning so I could actually maybe go visit Craig after his classes.

by the way, life with boyfriend is awesome to the awesomest awesome. I've had moments that I thought were the best ever, and they don't compare to even just sitting around doing nothing with Craig (which of course turns into doing something hrm hrm)

But yes sensing my rage towards Petco (I don't even know why I'm so angry, but I guess the deal is that I AM and I need to get the hell away from this job), Craig thinks of things I could do to petco, like just bring in a bunch of dogs, let them shit everywhere, and leave without cleaning it up. and then setting it on fire. Stupid I know, we know we're just blowing steam and won't actually do something like that, even though I think about doing bad bad things to petco, and know I don't have the guts to actually ever do those things ever in my life.

I think I need to stop thinking about how angry I am about petco right now, or I'll just get more and more angry. Anyway, every time I think about just skipping work and getting fired, it's really really tempting. Seriously, I wouldn't feel guilty about getting fired, but then I know that I need to get other jobs, and I don't want that kind of shit on my record or whatever (even though I know dog grooming and grocery store jobs have nothing to do with my dreams of comics and illustration)

Ok so on the other side of everything, I guess on the subject of feelings for Craig again, BEST TIMES OF MY LIFE EVER. We've agreed that we'll never be satisfied with any amount of time spent together, or what I mean is that we never want to end visits, because whenever I visit him in Lafayette I end up leaving late every time, even when I tell myself I will leave on time, I get home at an hour that gets me yelled at by my parents. Though my parents like Craig enough that they don't even yell at me as much as I suspect, which is surprising. on Friday night when i came home, my dad came bumbling towards me "BLARG YARG MARGMARGBURBRUR" (funny because that's usually my impression of my dad yelling at me or lecturing me). So basically, life is good, I'm just frustrated about this weeks work hour faggotry.

Man so I just realized that I've been listening to Feist musics for so long that it's looped through maybe 3 times. which means it doubles as good listening and good background noise, cause I've been drawing cute monster fish the entire time.

I guess in other news in my lonely boredom yesterday I got 14 gauge stud/plugs (don't know whether to call them plugs cause they're more like little rods) for my ears, thinking of stretching a little. I don't think I'll go crazy with the stretching, like to 00 which is basically the point of no return. But maybe a little close to that, or maybe just something sissy like 9 or 8 gauge.

yep so that's my life
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